feel like quiting..

Assalamualaikum..feel like leaving this job. im exhausted..hmm..always convince myself that i can do this but the truth is, i m tired. hopefully my strength will last longer. its not easy to find another job nowadays..not to mention of getting the salary that u should be getting..not forgetting the commitment that i already have in paying the related bills..dont want to burden my hubby unnecessarily..

btw, i have put on weight despite of my stress level at work. can u guess how? i keep on munching everytime im tension. i think thats a better thing to do rather than to find ur vict and scolded him/her without any reason, right? i always imagine myself doing that push-up thingy but so far its didnt come to reality yet..i have also planned to register myself for that slimming session. read many of those ads on papers and mags. somehow it got me infuenced :) i cant hardly wear most of my trousers or slack or pants or long skirts given by my sista..huhu..i just want my 50kg's figure back..

my hubby and i went for sigh-seeing yesterday..at ampang point. we planned to buy new slack for hubby but it ended up both of us caught in a foot massage session. it cost us rm35 per hour per person. i was massaged by a thai lady in a curtained room..it wasnt really a room but corner in which they hang a thin white curtain. in the end both of us feel like flying coz the session made us both feel so light.

gotta go. hubby already called..

another working saturday

assalamualaikum..i made simple breakfast this morning..sardin fried rice. took me 1/2 an hour to prepare it at our kitchen.. it was supposed to take shorter time but i had to boil dried chilli and blend it first. i want to add some spicy taste to my fried rice coz i dun have a ready chili paste. after took my shower, had some bite of my fried rice.hmm taste good (who else wants to praise urself?:P) whats more, im accompanied by few cups of teh tarik. hubby ate his breakfast few minutes later. he said, the fried rice a bit 'lembik' but taste ok :) that sounds fine for me & will improve next time.

hubby send me to work by bike. i read about another gathering tomorrow and police department has started some road blocks yesterday. just dont want another trapped-in-the-traffic kind of situation. alhamdullilah, traffic ran smoothly as we ride along jln genting klang, lebuhraya mahameru and jln travers. i reached office 5 minutes before 9am.

maybe everybody would think that calls will be as normal on saturday. the truth nothin but the truth is they didnt know all the weird, fierce & angry callers will start calling and yelling. was it a wrong decision to volunteer for ot? neeehh.. just for 4 hours. always pray that the time would run faster especially when staff approached me to handle difficult customers. i hate working on saturday :(

came out of office at about 1.30pm. the earlier plan made with hubby was for me to go back to mum's right after work. thats if he finishes repairing his father's pc. things do not always turned up the way we planned right? there was something that couldnt be fixed immediately. hubby will need more times. so i took lrt, headed to tmn melati where hubby fetched me, again with bike but this time without helmet :> we had a lunch at in-laws. pak teh & mak teh were also there, stopped by for a while b4 continuing their journey to kajang.

i want to break free

assalamualaikum..here i am at home, waiting for hubby to have our dinner at in-laws'. im on leave today..still got few more days to go..next week's friday & the balance are to be finished off next month. i wanted so much to carry fwd my leave to next year but was prohibited by lj..i have no concrete reason actually..dont feel like taking holiday after 2 weeks ++ of my mcs..but was forced to do so..its not i want to die for the company but so many things to do..so little done at office..i've voluntered to do ot tomorrow..we are still waiting for that sv to come over but still no news yet. since i dun really have plan this weekend except to go back to mom's, why not i spent sometime in office (daaaa :P)

hubby just called. he's on his way back.yeay..miss him the whole day..accidentally looked at some of his stuff this evening while i was searching for naruto's vcd and found his pix, his certs. sorry hubby to look at those without ur permission. he still keep my pix in his album..im flattered..i did not even bring my pix album when i moved into our house. i left it at mom's. i'll bring it someday and show it to you hubby.

hmm what is it that i want to break free from, i wonder. sometimes, some words crossed my mind without a reason..maybe i just want to break free from my daily office works. i enjoyed cleaning up our house today even though im a bit exhausted. but at office, no matter how tired i was i didnt feel this kind of happy-to-see-the-result-in-front-of-your-eyes..

mala send sms to me this evening while i was sleeping. didnt reply to her immediately. she called earlier but i love my eyes the most :P she was one of my close friend in cbn. she's now an english teacher in penang for std 6 student. forgot to ask her school's name. she has been married for 1++ years and with no kid yet..according to her doc, she's having some hormone problem in her body. pity her..im sure one day Allah will grant her wish to have kids, right mala? work smart & pray hard ok? as for me, i told her bout my miscarriage last month. she also prayed that i will get pregnant soon. later in the evening, after performing my solat, i called her. we talked about each other's life and also laughed all the way. its so good to have your old friend keeping in touch after sometimes both of u went missing :)

im drowning

im drowning in my works..i have to handle 2 teams nowadays..suhaila has left us :( i was instructed to handle her group until such time new sv is coming in..i hate the job initially but this is my 4th day and its not that bad..i have 2 team leaders and 1 hos to assist me..taraa! im not alone after all :) suhaila, ill take care of ur x-team..dun worry

true enuf, of all my job descriptions that have been assigned to me, i hate (again?) to go for product briefing especially when the briefing involve loan or investment product. i believe the lack of foundation in these 2 'evil' makes me wants to close my eyes and just assigned my TL to releif me..but i cant do that right? im paid to do whatever that has been prescribed in my jd..sighh

Ya Allah, give me strength & wisdom to go on with life. life goes on & i dunt want to simply loose my temper. hubby, do guide me to the right path. i want to live with you here and thereafter..miss my mom..miss my dad..ya Allah, pls take care of my parents..cant wait to go back to mom's this weekend to meet ain and danish..it has been almost 3 weeks since i last meet them. i wonder what are they capable of doing now :)

working saturdays

assalamualaikum..im working today. still at office, spending my time for another one hour before going back home. no plan just yet. weekend with no plan? can u ever imagine? i can see myself getter better, entering my final phase of pantang. my appetite to eat cant be stopped. i get hungry easily. wonder why..is it the effect of traditional herb that i take daily? mom in-law said the herb is good to heal my internal wound..but she never says it is also good to increase my appetite & body weight? :)

thot the traffic would be clear this morning. took the risk of getting out of the house half an hour before 9am. hubby sent me by car at first. poor hubby..trapped in the traffic congestion with me when he can continue his good nite sleep at home..yes! can u visualise a saturday morning with the policemen doing road block all around the town? i got so tensed up, sitting quietly in the car while hubby tried to console me. i realised that there are 2 things in this worlds that will make me mad in silent..traffic congestion & people who didnt turn up on time. u know what they say about being late? i got this from reader's digest (cant remember which edition). if u cant come on time, come early. so very true right?

back to traffic congestion story. called office to inform that im late. luckily, hanisah said the calls flow were not heavy (yet?) at jln gombak, hubby called his brother to come by bike. yes, both of us will continue our journey by bike. i cant stand the heave traffic congestion anymore. we parked aside the main road about 5 mins before ayie came and drove back our car home. i reached office 1 min before 10am. quickly searched for hanisah (TL on duty) to tell my presence. she was the (not sure how many have said coz its too many) next person to comment that im getting chubby..should i take that as compliment? :P next, i proceed to nurul's workstation. ill be stationed here today.

at 10.33am i called hubby to check his status. he just reached home and told me the reason for traffic congestion this morning. u may read the details at harakahdaily dated today. no wonder there were so many policemen around. they tried to block all the main entries to the city since the 'bersih' gathering will be held today at dataran merdeka. Ya Allah..pls help those who participate in the gathering. they just want a peace, harmony & clean election for our country. ameen ya rabbal a'alamin..

back to reality

assalamualaikum..it has been few days since my last blog writing..was busy at mom's :P helping her to do some house works..hopefully in-laws wont find out about this (doing house works during my pantang). i never really enjoy house cleaning before..not even before i was hospitalised in apsh..it was because the staying in in-law's that make me realize that cleaning a house is something that u should enjoy & feel satisfied once it is done. its not that we didnt clean up our house all this while..but it would be more meaningful it u do something full-hearted, right honey? ur tiredness & effort is definetely worth it!

im back to office today. alhamdullilah the traffic was okay this morning on our way to jln pantai baru. reached office at about 8.16am, not so many people yet. those who saw me would smile & asked if im doing fine. im touched by their warm welcome wishes.. as though it gave me more energy to start my work. as expected, lots of emails to be read, lots of forms to be signed off & not forgotten, lot of latest product knowledge needs to be catch up. i know im running short of time, trying to be as efficient as possible on my first day of coming back to work after 3 weeks being away. as the days passed by, more and more smiles & warm welcome wishes that i received..and not less than 2 person who commented i have put on weight! apart having the aim to finish up my pending jobs, im now aiming to be slim & cute again :P

im coming home mom

assalamualaikum..insyaAllah im coming home today mom..its not that i dont like it here at in-laws'..been treated so nicely, not even a single house work im allowed to do.. but i just love it more when im at mom's. maybe its true when people say there's no place like mom's home (since we have already rented one). called mom just now. she was busy preparing nasi impit for my sista's raya celebration tomorrow. mom is always a mom..cant say 'no' to their children's favor..no matter how hard, how tired and how tedious things are..will i ever be like my mom one day?

mom also reported that my youngest bro has involved in an accident last nite at sri hartamas. he never learn his lesson! i just pity my mom because almost every time she has to pay the cost..i hope my bro will stand on his feet soon and stop putting burden on my mom's shoulder. mom..pls be strong..i know its not easy to say 'no' to your children but u just have to do it fast! the chat didnt take long because mom & the rest at home have to be ready to go to Sg Besar for a wedding.

to Iena and hubby & Amil and wife, we wish u all the best in entering a new world of marriage. your life are about to change. things.. neither going to be easy, nor hard. most importantly, discussed with your spouse..involved their emotion..come up with a solution, ok? all the best and be quick to have children!

colours of emotions

assalamualaikum..its saturday..proud to say that i woke up early for subuh prayer this morning..just because i need to finish small business :) as soon as i touched the bathroom floor, i heard the azan. thot it was 3 or 4 am.. just feel so peace & harmony after performing my solat.tried to wake hubby as well but he gave me 'another few minutes' sign..ok..ok..understood..and as the morning is too early, i continued my dream journey :)
still in in-laws' house until hubby finishes up his work. he needs the net access as much as i do. i guess we'll be here until tomorrow's morning at least.

im in the midst of entering my end of pantang mode. last nite, had a final massage session with mak ngah. frankly speaking, i have never been massaged before. so u can imagine me screaming all the way the session :P it was a nice feeling though, as if a new born body has emerged ;-)

spending time sleeping & played super texttwist throughout the day. me played, hubby is helping to give most of the answers and vice versa. it was really fun and somehow i realized such a poor grammars that i have in my head & how genius my life partner is. *wink*

we received 2 wedding invitations this weekend - iena panadol (colleague) & amil (cousin) but really sorry we couldnt make it. if not for myself, im thinking of not going because of hubby needs to finish up his work. i cant imagine holding one million ringgits in hand, whats more dealing with one billion ringgits' financial plan..i never like dealing with numbers but not money! :P

the first but not the last

assalamualaikum...it has been a while before i decided to have my own blog. thanks to hubby for encouraging me to write. now we both have our own blog..to mengomel what ever happens in our life. i should be writing often since i already have one.

to start with, this is my 9th day of mcs (including sats & sundays). i'll be coming to work a day after deepavali. n also on saturday. have made arrangement earlier with colleague. hubby has proposed for a short vacation on that week but i think we can postpone it to some other time since i really keen to come to work :P

im staying with in-laws at the moment. will be back to my mom's house this weekend though.. till a day before deepavali to clean up our house. miss our home so much kan hubby?!! i wonder how does it looks like now. i did not go back home for almost 2 weeks..a week after celebrating raya due to miscarriage that has been diagnosed by gynaecologist. been warded for 2 1/2 days at apsh.

according to my gynae, i have to avoid myself from being preggy for the next 3 months. chances of miscarriage will still be there if im ketegaq ('stubborn' as prescribed by kedah folks). insyaAllah there will be another time when Allah grants our wish to be a parent again..rite honey? just be patient & work hard :P :)